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I'm sitting here in the dark.

and I can't figure this out,
Can someone tell my why I feel like this is out of my control?
Why I feel so helpless?
Can someone please tell me, why I feel so sad.


I feel so alone beside you, more alone that I feel sitting by myself.

I try, to talk to you, I really do, even if its not about much.
But as soon as I'm here, you turn the switch off.

There's icicles on the ceiling.

I know you want everything to be perfect right away, but don't you see?

I feel empty. Emptier than I have felt for a long time.
Do you know really, what this feels like? I want to curl up in a ball and let the world pass by. I don't want to have to worry about hurting anyone

I don't want to hurt you. some of this sadness, is because I know how much I am hurting you, but right now I can't do anything about it.

Its terribly hard to make someone happy, when you yourself are miserable.

As I sit here in the dark, its like a sanctuary. If only time did not move, and I could stay here. what would the shadows bring me I wonder.

I feel, so much, like this is entirely out of my hands, there's only so much I can do. and I feel like I have done it all. Its not enough, no not enough for you. Because to you it seems like I haven't done anything.

I don't understand, how there can be such a big difference in opinions, how can you think I have done nothing, when I feel like I have given everything I have. How can, it feel so different for us, when we are here together?

I know, I do know that this is not supposed to be easy, But I don't think its supposed to be this hard either.

I wish I knew, what to do.
Why is this happening?
Why are we falling apart?